The House finale was so stupid. Episodes that end with “and it was all a dream” are copping out. They just wanted to gross us out and then get out of it with a stupid excuse.
It’s what I used to do in kindergarden after I made a bad story: make it all a dream.
Archive for May, 2006
So when I got my car repaired, it was really messy when I got it back. I just started cleaning it up last week, and I noticed that my spare cash was missing. Nothing much, just a few bucks.
But: Who the hell takes all your change when they’re taking your money??? All the spare change in my change tray was missing. Every last penny.
And then despite the utter lack of pennies in my car, the jewelry that Rebecca left in the car was still there. Was it not worth a penny?
Have you guys tried out Google Calendar? It is so awesome!
After you get it, you can look at my calendar too and overlay it on yours.
Amanda freakin’ rocks because she made me kick-ass business cards. I am going to get them printed up tomorrow, and if not that, on Saturday. Sorry I had to blank out my phone number in such an ugly way. I chose the middle one for printing.
Joe Jamail takes a deposition defended by Edward Carstarphen. Hilarity ensues.
An old Italian man lived alone in the country.
He wanted to dig his tomato garden,
but it was very hard work as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Continue reading ‘The Italian Tomato Garden’
Kajal forwarded this to me:
…Or Shawn? Whatever. He’s the strange guy who just started talking to us with no introduction whatsoever.
The story is, we were at the third bar in our bar crawl at Rebecca’s birthday, and this guy starts hitting on Rebecca Willis. I think. So we all start edging outside to where he isn’t to this table with four chairs, and we four (Rebeccas, Lev, and I) sat down at the table. This guy, who we figure out is named Sean, grabs a chair from elsewhere and sits down with us. It becomes quite apparent that he is high or drunk or really just not functioning right.
The point is, he was annoyingly hilarious if that makes sense to you.
He starts mentioning this guy named Ron all of a sudden and telling this story about how I was dragging Ron out of a party because he was drunk I guess. So I went along with it. The conversation went something like this:
Sean: Hey man you remember the other night when you that other guy dragged Ron out of that bar?
Lee: Yeah, when was that? On Thursday?
S: Oh yeah!
L: Who was that other guy who was dragging Ron with me? I can’t remember his name…
S: Ummmm…. Oh one second I have a phone call! he starts dialing on the phone. It’s Ron!
L: Let me talk to him. He hands me the phone. Hey Ron, what’s up?
Ron: Where are you guys?
L: Uhhh…. Ron wants to talk to you Sean! I hand the phone back to Sean and he walks away
Sean came back 30 minutes later. It’s a wonder he wasn’t noticeably stumbling.
L: Hey Ron wants to meet us at Taco Mac right now!
Rebecca: Hey who did you have as your photography teacher in high school?
I should point out that he said he went to the same high school as we did and graduated a year after Rebecca
S: names an entirely made-up teacher’s name at our high school
Sean has no answer and procedes to go to Taco Mac.
Anyway, I hope that the Rebeccas and Lev can fill in the blanks to my story via my comments.
I put up some pictures from Rebecca’s party in Downtown Decatur. Check ‘em out.
We basically did a bar crawl last night and drank across a few different bars.
I played softball with the JCC yesterday, and it was tons of fun. Most people generally stink, and so it’s all about just hanging out with a fun crowd. No one is mean or anything, but everyone is fun. I’m pretty happy that my captain made me catcher. I get to be in the middle of it all when they’re batting.
Afterwords, we went to Taco Mac for drinks and snacks. Also awesome.
Yeah, I don’t know what else to say… The next game is next Wednesday.
So much easier to repost a chat conversation with Rebecca than to retype it all.
Rebecca: when did someone rear end you?
Rebecca: in other words, you were in an accident?
Me: on Sunday
Rebecca: are you okay?
Me: on the highway in stop and go
Rebecca: did you call the cops?
Rebecca: was the person insured?
Me: I took pictures of my bumper and put them on my album
Me: The guy was on the offensive when I first talked to him and told me he would pay me $1000 to settle it right away
Me: (I don’t know how he’d get that much on a sunday though)
Me: and then I told him that I wouldn’t involve the police but I would just get his insurance to pay
Me: and then he said that I should take the money because I wouldn’t put any more money into my car, that I would never buy a bumper if I had a thousand dollars
Me: but I said I would, and he called me a liar a few times
Me: He’s a real jackass
Rebecca: OMG!!!!
Continue reading ‘Accident Explanation’
Anyone want to go to a comedy show sometime soon? I have an urge.
http://www.punchline.com/shows.asp
I messed around with some sort of option to tell a bunch of servers when my blog was updated. Maybe it will generate some traffic around here.
I have never before had parking at the Braves game where they just valeted me. That was pretty special.
Also, I am going to have to get my bumper replaced after being rear-ended on the highway. That was not so special.
Lee’s accidents: 3.
Number caused by Lee: 0
How much better Lee is at driving than the rest of the world = 3/0 = infinitely better.