Oh right, I was trying to write something great that was more interesting than even The Family Guy and I got sidetracked with…you guessed it…The Family Guy.
For those of you who don’t know me very well, I would have placed Portia De Rossi on my top five hotties list. Too bad she was neglected on all the lists. She features in one of my favorite TV shows, Arrested Development.
This article is about her and Ellen wanting a baby and what options they have. Turns out that my gal with have to leave the show for a season. This makes Lee very very sad 
.
Archive for June, 2005
Some people have suggested to me that the Family Guy is not as funny as it used to be. This is completely not true and is in fact grounds for institutionalization.
Are you insane?
Have you seen how the Keebler Elves killed off a Rice Krispy elf in “Blind Ambition” episode 403? What about portraying Mel Gibson as a lunatic in 401 while referencing a lesser-known Hitchcock film? That’s just plain talent. Also, how long have we been waiting for a bachelorette parody from these guys? It was coming, and it was GOOD.
Some good scenes that stand out in my mind:
- Quagmire drugging the bachelorette
- Chris, when he ignores the evil monkey in his closet
- The second battle with the giant chicken
Haven’t seen these scenes yet? Keep watching! And there are bound to be more great ones.
Well, not really an emergency. Go to Starbucks today and get your free ice cream.
Thanks for having a reasoned point of view about rap. You really might piss some people off soon, like how Bill Cosby pissed some people off, but you’re doing the right thing.
Will Smith has decided to advocate the toning down of the gangsta imagery in rap.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Music/06/28/music.willsmith.ap/index.html
I put up pictures from Joel’s bday party. Check it out on the album page. Also, I deleted a lot of old pictures. If you don’t see some pictures you wanted, tell me, and I’ll upload it to Yahoo.
Top five lists seem to be going okay. Anyone else want a top five list for themselves? It’s pretty easy for me to set up.
Man what’s with everyone trying to call me while I’m in bathroom??
I thought I should share a funny South Park quote I liked. Man I love Cartman, but if he were a real kid, I’d have to… dispose of him somehow.
CARTMAN: You said you’d invite three friends…
KYLE: Yeah, three FRIENDS! You’re not my friend.
CARTMAN: Well, who’s gonna go instead of me?
KYLE: Butters, he invited me to his birthday a few months ago, I owe him.
CARTMAN: (flipping Kyle Off) F(beep)K YOU, I DON’T EVEN WANNA GO TO YOUR FAGGOT BIRTHDAY PARTY! (he leaves, a moment later he comes back) I’m sorry Kyle, I DO wanna go to your birthday party, I mean you said some things, I said some things, but it’s all in the past now.
KYLE: ….I’m still not inviting you.
CARTMAN: (flipping Kyle off again) F(beep)K YOU, I DON’T EVEN WANNA GO TO YOUR FAGGOT BIRTHDAY PARTY! (leaves)
Laser printer, only $90 after rebates, wow. I thought I should share.
Being a nice guy in the world of you crazy and/or mean people makes me go insane.
Taking all these jokes and forwards from ehowa.com made me want to create a new blog category for it. Sorry, but I’m not retroactivating this.
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son, Johnny, comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the
bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that Johnny is in there already.
Johnny says, “Dark in here.”
The man says, “Yes, it is.”
Johnny – “I have a baseball.”
Man – “That’s nice.”
Johnny – “Want to buy it?”
Man – “No, thanks.”
Johnny – “My dad’s outside.”
Man – “OK, how much?”
Johnny – “$150″
Man – “Sold.”
In the next few weeks, it happens again that Johnny and the lover are in the closet together.
Johnny – “Dark in here.”
Man – “Yes, it is.”
Johnny – “I have a Wilson fielders glove.”
The lover, remembering the last time, asks Johnny, “How much?”
Johnny – “$350″
Man – “Highway robbery. Sold.”
A few days later, the father says to Johnny, “Grab your gloves, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.
Johnny says, “I can’t, I sold my ball and
my gloves.”
The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”
Johnny -”$500″
The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that…that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess your greed.”
They go to the church and the father makes Johnny sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
Johnny says, “Dark in here.”
The priest says, “Don’t start that shit again, you’re in my closet now”
To those fathers who read my site (yes all of you fathers), Happy Father’s Day!
I spent much of it plotting on stealing my dad’s car and consequently installing a new car radio in it. This was accomplished with my brother as the distraction, and my sister and I hijacking it over to Circuit City.
Then, we had a lovely dinner outside on the patio, which I loved. At first I didn’t think I was going to like it because of all the basil. I was wrong, dead wrong.
This was a terrific day. My dad is a lot of fun to hang around 
Soon, we will get my dad more a/c in the car, and then his car will be fun to drive around.
Did I mention I finally got some comfortable flip flops? Yeah that’s right. They’re Tevas.
I seriously doubth the authenticity of the following messages contained within this joke, especially since it says that these are haikus. Haikus are dependent on the number of syllables, which would not be consistant between Japanese and English translations. But I digress…
Here are 16 actual error messages seen on the computer screens in Japan, where they are written in Haiku. Aren’t these better than, “your computer has performed an illegal operation”?
The Web site you seek cannot be located, but countless more exist.
————————–
Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.
————————–
Program aborting: Close all that you have worked on. You ask far too much.
————————–
Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.
————————–
Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that.
————————–
Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.
————————–
Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down.
————————–
A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.
————————–
Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred.
————————–
You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here.
————————–
Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, but we never will.
————————–
Having been erased, The document you’re seeking must now be retyped.
————————–
Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
I’ve been scanning in some images (some of which are at http://photos.yahoo.com/iknowleekatz), and I wanted you guys to know that I like it, and if you want one too, then I found a good one. Check it out!
Hewlett Packard ScanJet 3500c Scanner
> A man standing in line at the check-out counter of a grocery store was
> very
> surprised when a very, VERY attractive woman behind him said, “Hello!
> Her face was beaming.
>
> He gave her that “Who in the world are you, look,” and couldn’t
> remember
> ever having seen her before.
>
> Noticing the puzzled look on his face, she figured she had made a
> mistake
> and apologized. “Look,” she said “I’m really sorry but when I first
> spotted
> you, I thought you were the father of one of my children,” and she
> promptly walked out of the store.
>
> The guy stood there for a minute dumbfounded and thought to himself,
> “What the hell is this world coming to? Here is a really attractive
> woman and
> she can’t even keep track of who fathers her children!”
>
> Then he began to get a little panicky. “I don’t remember her,” he
> thought
> “but, MAYBE during one of the wild parties at the frat house he had
> been
> to when he was in college, perhaps he did father her child! And she is
> attractive…..”
>
> He ran from the store and caught up to her in the parking lot and
> asked,
> “Are you the girl I met at a frat party back in college and when we got
> really drunk and had this wild crazy sex on the pool table in front of
> everyone?” She interrupted him mid-sentence.
>
> “No”, she said with a horrified look on her face. “I’m your son’s
> Hebrew
> School Teacher!”